It’s been a good minute since I’ve written anything new here (since August!), not that I’ve forgotten to - however things have been in a pretty constant state of flux. Not surprisingly, sometimes things can be so crazy that it’s difficult to figure out what exactly to write about. I could have written more about my everlasting GI issues, or even the tooth issues that I have been running into (as a result of past treatment for said GI issues)…

But given that I was trying to get my frame of mind off those issues, writing about it didn’t seem like it would be the best way to let me focus on other things. That is not to say of course that I’d discourage it, again though… lots of flux!

Now the world and I find that we’ve reached the end of this current chapter that we call “2022”. It’s certainly been an interesting year, and has had it’s ups and downs (just like most years tend to). Personally, I found that it went by really quickly too! I still find myself bracing for incoming summer heat, even though summer has in reality, long ended.

I’ve never really been much of the type of person to follow the common tradition of setting “New Year’s Resolutions” - a good reason for that is because in the past I’ve often found myself trying to set these for the next year, and then due to reasons outside of my own control, I end up not being able to follow through on those goals. And while it’s easy for me in hindsight to not fault myself for this, at the time it is incredibly difficult for me to not put myself down for it.

Of course, that does not mean I still have my own goals that I’d like to accomplish sometime next year, nor do I discourage others from doing so - but I do not want to put that sort of pressure on myself. Plenty of external forces already exert a ton of pressure on me every single day, so why would I add more onto myself?

You could say “That just means you need to set more reasonable goals for yourself” - but, between you and I… I’m not omniscient. I can’t possibly say what goals would be reasonable for me to accomplish in this upcoming New Year. I certainly didn’t expect to need major surgery in 2021, which excluded me from a huge amount of things. Personally, I find that I tend to treat goals as being synonymous to expectations (whereas barring a few special contexts, generally that is not the case).

Oh, and yes I’m sure that somewhere out there, someone is saying “The perfect resolution for you then is to redefine how you see resolutions!” - that irony isn’t lost on me, but I think my reasoning that I’ve already noted here would still apply for even that one.

So what do I choose to use the usher in the new year? Well, like every year I’ll go into it with a headstrong attitude, because no matter what happens, my attitude is something that will always be that I can control. Sure, it can certainly be influenced by an endless number of external forces, but at the end of the day, the ending will always be mine to write (okay maybe not literally, but figuratively - remember, I’m not omniscient, nor do I know anyone who is). It’s not always easy either! One word comes to mind to describe my planned acomplishment: Survival.

I firmly believe that everyone deserves a clean slate for themselves at the start of the New Year, but in order for that clean slate to have any sort of meaning, you need to remember the past. No matter how you choose to celebrate and usher in 2023, remember 2022. Mark the chapter, but turn the page.